Cultural shocks

What is culture? We learn about cultures from the past. For many of us, our main thoughts about culture might come from museums. We know from archaeology that the cultural artifacts include burial methods and ceramic pots. (As a child, I felt vaguely threatened by museum trips focussing on mummies, skeletons, and grave gifts. It was only many years later that I understood that sometimes this is all we have from a past culture.) Carved stone, ceramic shards, and other durable goods – the ones that are found are those that were not picked up by the next set of occupiers, like many remnant buildings, and reused to structure their own houses and temples.

Mexican street

The Mayan sacrifices of human victims, ritual ball games, and huge astronomical temples are famous. And, now, their calendar is famous, along with their wonderful pictograph writing. But most cultures today are fairly similar to each other. There is little literal human sacrifice (one could argue that symbolic sacrifice still abounds.) We complain about the homogenizing influence of multinational businesses; we are disappointed to travel halfway around the world for a cultural experience and find McDonalds and CocaCola, and, more recently, panini, dominating main boulevards. Yet, despite the homogenization, we often suffer from when visiting or living in another culture. I recall an Irish colleague who complained every day of a two week trip about the breakfasts in Finland, for the sausages tasted different. Myself, when I moved to Germany, I was delighted to live among people who also thought cheese with rye bread and cucumber was a sufficient breakfast. But I could not adapt to the rigid 14-page apartment leases and frequent recourse to lawyers. (This was a clear cultural mismatch: I take my word seriously, and so also all the conditions in a legal agreement. I couldn’t see myself being able to keep the agreement to not use the bathroom in my own house between 10pm and 6am. In contrast, a local told me that the way to get along is to blithely sign the lease and then do as you please. Behind these extreme strongly worded contracts is a system of law suits, which are described nearly as entertainment. (The second cultural mismatch is that I prefer conflicts to be averted with a little mutual respect and mediation – requiring change on both sides and hence addressing directly a common root of conflict, when one or both sides does not want to move.))

Street accordian, Mexico

One would expect that experience in different countries might immunize one from future culture shock, but this does not seem to happen. Despite my childhood with different cultural traditions both inside and outside the house, I am very susceptible to culture shock. Other friends also suffer from discomfort living in some cultures despite being very well travelled and generally able to adapt. We may not want to adapt to all habits: an example may well be a lack of desire to pick up habits to engendering conflict, or to learn to dissemble and manipulate opinions of others.

As I have mentioned before, my lack of ability to pick up either conflict-creating styles or lying as an art form, has in fact meant relative lack of success in some national and institutional cultures. It’s a hard choice: acquiring these skills could mean successful adaptation but loss of honesty and peacefulness. Do those who dissemble feel comfortable with themselves? I would think not – but them I am betraying again my inherent discomfort with making the truth flexible to cover up the unattractive part. We could change society greatly perhaps by questioning the dissemblers, by waiting to verify their stories, and thereby by not rewarding lies. By encouraging discussion and respect, and self-esteem, that those delighting in winning the lawsuit over the bully, can spare time for something else.

Feeling at home with the familiar does not mean only one’s home culture is familiar. In fact, the culture that ‘shocked’ me a year ago is now a welcome familiar place when I visit. I miss the positive parts. In fact, moving to yet another new country has meant another mosaic of nostalgic memories of Germany, just as for all the other countries I have experienced over time. That grass there is quite green, just now, from over here.